Shepherd the Flock

It was 6 years ago this month that the Lord first worked grace and repentance in my heart. Before I was converted, I was, like all the unconverted, an exceedingly wicked and profane person. But unlike some others I had little restraint in my outward manifestation of my wickedness. So upon my conversion there was a radical change in my outward behavior. All of the gross outward sins like drunkenness, hedonism, sexual immorality, lying, stealing, etc., fell off almost immediately after I was converted, and if it hadn’t been for God’s continual grace and humiliation in my life, my self-righteousness would’ve loved for the mortification to stop there.

But now, 6 years later, though I am a radically new man on the outside, my inside (heart sins) often don’t feel much different than my previous life. Instead of drunkenness, it’s wantonness in things more accepted by the Christian culture; instead of hedonism in things clearly forbidden by scripture, it’s hedonism in trivial pursuits and other accepted pleasures; instead of sexual immorality, it’s inward lust; instead of lying, it’s deceitfulness; instead of stealing, it’s covetousness. And the list goes on. Oh, how easy it is to stop all outward, gross manifestations of sin and then neglect the heart!

Thus, I found the following quote helpful in reminding us Christians for our need of humiliation over seemingly ’small’ sins in our lives.

Note, also, his mention of the sin of misspending time. As little as two years ago I wouldn’t have even thought this to be a great sin. But by God’s grace, oh, how I see it to be one of the biggest heart-sins in my life. The selfishness of the heart knows no bounds! In our pleasure-addicted, entertainment-driven society, who doesn’t struggle with the terrible sin of wasting our precious, God-given time? I think this testifies to the wickedness of our hearts more than anything else…for so many sins find their expression in wasting time (selfishness, covetousness, lack of self-control, unfaithfulness, self-righteousness, etc.).

“There may be many godly people who, through God’s mercy, are able to keep from gross sins. They do not find it any great matter to keep from bad company, swearing, drinking, uncleanness, lying, wronging others, or such kinds of sins as these are. They do not see such need for humiliation in this regard, unless it is for the fact that their natures are as corrupt as any, though they do not break forth into those actual gross sins. But the main work of the humiliation of those who are godly is to be humbled for their thoughts, for misspending time, and for not sanctifying God’s name in holy duties.” – Jeremiah Burroughs